Rollercoasters and Unicycles

It’s been some time since I updated my blog for a variety of reasons, mostly because my life took off in some funny directions and it’s taken until now for things to regain some sort of equilibrium…although I know some of you will find that hard to believe – my life being the usual rollercoaster ride that it is…

Okay, a swift run down…joined a new climbing wall – very, very successful, lots of extremely nice people there so I’ve been climbing around four times a week for the last few weeks – yes, my arms are beginning to take on a slightly sculpted look, it’s good! I was there the other day and climbing with an Italian chap called Pierre which was fun particularly as he had persuaded his work colleagues to come along to try out some climbing – they clearly were not convinced but made all the polite noises. After we had finished climbing I went out to my car to find another climber trying out his unicycle in the carpark….so I also had a go….

In other news things have been very up and down….the next stage in anyone’s life after a major relationship break up is for both partners to move on to pastures new, so to speak….That leaves everyone with mixed feelings I guess…And maybe it’s something I’ll discuss more at length some other time….Life moves on….
Freedom is a hugely undervalued commodity in my opinion. It’s not something I wish to give up freely every again but the most important thing for me is that I now realise that fact – it’s taken me a very long time to understand just how vital and precious true freedom is to me and of course now I will only surround myself with like-minded people….fortunately most of them are also climbers….

I’ve been laid up for the last few days with an insect bite that turned nasty and has made my leg swell to elephantine proportions – taking antibiotics, but really the only cure is rest…So my leg is elevated and I can’t do too much. Ideal you would have thought for doing some writing…erm…no…Maybe I’ve got Writer’s Block…I certainly can’t seem to just sit down and write the way I usually do…most days I fire up the laptop, open a document and go for it…write plenty of words (most of them utter rubbish, but still…). For the last week or two my brain has simply turned to colourless mush entirely incapable of stringing more than a few words together. So in the best procrastinators tradition I have seen far, far too much of the internet and far too many kittens….

Some writers swear by simply hitting the ground running and writing whatever comes to mind first – in fact that’s the way I do most of my writing – just write and worry about the sense in the rewrites. I’m not a believer in waiting for the ‘muse’ to strike – I think you’ll wait all year, or all your life. I often wonder if that’s how the likes of J.D.Salinger writes – after producing the wonderful Catcher in the Rye, nothing of any substance has been produced since…or certainly, not published. Reading about Salinger though, it seems that he writes every day but purely for his own enjoyment – the very best way to write. So he doesn’t wait for the muse or divine inspiration, but just gets on with it.

I think most things that require us to be active in some way are too easy to put off or put aside…everyone loves to procrastinate…there are always so many interesting things on TV, the internet, hidden under the bed, in the back of the wardrobe, anywhere in fact rather than sitting down and writing or doing your tax return…Actually that reminds me, I need to do mine…I bet I get it done before I get much writing finished….

Been here before?

Firstly apologies for the length of time it’s taken me to post something new here….life has been busy.

I found this Rabindranath Tagore poem today...

Unending Love

I seem to have loved you in numberless forms, numberless times…
In life after life, in age after age, forever.
My spellbound heart has made and remade the necklace of songs,
That you take as a gift, wear round your neck in your many forms,
In life after life, in age after age, forever.

Whenever I hear old chronicles of love, it's age old pain,
It's ancient tale of being apart or together.
As I stare on and on into the past, in the end you emerge,
Clad in the light of a pole-star, piercing the darkness of time.
You become an image of what is remembered forever.

You and I have floated here on the stream that brings from the fount.
At the heart of time, love of one for another.
We have played along side millions of lovers,
Shared in the same shy sweetness of meeting,
the distressful tears of farewell,
Old love but in shapes that renew and renew forever.


It’s beautiful but it also made me think about the notion of reincarnation and our souls going on…Despite being brought up in a very strict religious community (that makes it sound quite terrifying…but then nuns can be…) I no longer consider myself of be someone of Faith, as such. I love the idea of reincarnation, Heaven, the Afterlife all of that, but I can’t really get it to square with science…and to my mind that’s the real nature of Faith – a willingness to set aside all that is known and simply believe in the unknown…I guess I’m too much of a coward to just give in and believe…I need hard evidence. Anyway, this poem added to that – I can’t say that I have experienced just what Tagore is talking about here – I would truly love to meet someone and believe that we had been together before, and were destined to always in each life, meet again and remain friends and lovers. But I can’t believe that. Each person I meet is so new to me, and those who I might have thought I had a deep connection to at some point, always manage to surprise me and therefore convince me that we, or maybe just I, don’t ever really know anyone….
One of my favourite pastimes (aside from people watching) is talking about what has happened – I love to chew over conversations I’ve had with people and will spend hours talking to my closest friends about what this or that remark really meant…as everyone of course has a sub-text….No one ever just says what they mean (apart from me, of course). So many happy hours are passed deciphering just what He really meant when He said that….Now surely if I’d known them in a previous life all of that would be unnecessary, as I would already know exactly what they meant, wouldn’t I?
But then again, just because I’ve not experienced what Tagore is talking about, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist…For example, I’ve never been to see the Pyramids, but I know they exist….So maybe if there is such a thing as the Afterlife or Reincarnation, maybe some of us are just very young souls and haven’t clocked up the necessary man-hours to know our soul mates when we see them…or maybe we just haven’t met them yet.