Sex in the City? Sniggering in the Suburbs

Leading life as a single woman again after more than a decade of being involved with someone is not always easy or straightforward. I have a few single female friends and thank goodness we all understand and commiserate and celebrate with each other. At times my life does feel very much like Sex in the City – except it’s a provincial town, even if it is technically a city, and there isn’t any sex going on….But we are all hopeful!

In the last couple of weeks I’ve met quite a few people who are also single – not that any of these events could be described as Dates…at the moment I’m still leaving the dating lark to my friend Jo who seems to have really got into the swing of dating. It seems to be so very common these days to be on ones second or third marriage, or to have recently split up with a partner. I guess that’s more due to me noticing it rather than the figures having leapt in the last six months….

Sometimes it seems that most of the men I and my single female friends have met are damaged in some way – still hung up on their exes, bitter, nervous, untrustworthy, or just plain mad. That said, I’m sure we single women are just the same. I know speaking for myself there are days when I’m as loopy as they come – on those days I do try to avoid heavy machinery and crowds….There’s a lot to be said for introspection, but equally there comes a point when all of us need to stop thinking Me, Me, Me and just get on with life.

Now after the sermon, here’s a quick update on the latest events in my Single Life….and it is more Shagging in the Suburbs (I wish!) than Sex in the City….perhaps Sniggering in the Suburbs would be closer the mark…

Friday night went out with my single friend Eve – she used to work in the music industry so she’s very cool, sassy and even a little scary…We caught up with a couple of her (male) friends, both still working in the music industry. All way too cool for me….I felt entirely out of my depth and rather like an awkward teenager sitting amongst hip 20 somethings – even though we were all the same age….And we drank cocktails – well, they did, I was driving – probably a good thing as if I’d been drinking I would undoubtedly have made a fool of myself, which would have made for great reading here, but I would never have been able to show my face in polite company again….I was particularly impressed when the two chaps began to insult one another in Latin – for some strange reason clever men are a huge turn on….So despite what I said the other day about a crush on Robbie Williams, I’m afraid that would be only for his physical appearance – yes, I’m shallow!

Saturday saw me having my first ever experience of climbing outside on real rock….and what a fabulous time I had. I met up with another climber down at Harrison's Rocksnear Tunbridge Wells and I was shown the ropes! I managed to complete four or five routes, all very simple ones, but nonetheless I felt a great deal of satisfaction and a huge adrenaline rush from hauling myself over the rock faces and getting to the top. I didn’t take any photographs, sadly, maybe next weekend – I’m really hoping I get out to Harrison’s again…and that has nothing whatsoever to do with the spectator sport that is watching very fit young men without shirts move gracefully over the rock…..
Sunday I went to Bowles Rocks to climb again, this time with another partner, but again had a really good time, only managed to complete two routes mainly because it was busy down there and loads of groups were hogging the simple climbs.

So all in all a great weekend, the only downside being that I got bitten by some insect on Saturday at Harrison’s and it’s gone septic – nice….So yesterday (Monday) saw me down at the doctor’s surgery picking up some antibiotics…that’s me off alcohol for a week then….Probably a good thing…..

And it was all entirely safe - which goes to prove my point, that people in general are nice....if you expect them to be kind and helpful, they will be. I know I'm a born optimist and the cynics amongst you will be pitying this poor fool, but I'm happy to remain an optimistic fool.

Fighting Fear and Being Brave

The deadlines are rapidly approaching and so for that reason I’m writing my blog….procrastinating is one of my very best talents….

Here I am listening to Snow Patrol – I went to the climbing wall the other day, I was the only one there and they had ‘Run’ playing – I knew I knew the song, I was pretty sure it was Snow Patrol, but hadn’t heard it in ages, couldn’t get it out of my mind…so here I am playing all their albums now while I fritter away the day (again).
I have a couple of articles that need to be written, some redrafting that *has* to be done before the end of the month, an academic essay that needs writing, again before the end of the month, more needs to be done to the novel – it won’t get written on its own. But yet, you find me here writing my blog, planning my weekend (all very exciting stuff!), wasting time on my favourite websites and generally procrastinating….


I’m off out this evening with a female friend – we’re going out for Cocktails and are not planning a late night – but as she has been “asked to leave” at least one wine bar in town and I’m just as outspoken…and it’s the first time we’ve gone out on the town together…It could end up being a late and very wild one….Tomorrow I’m going down to climb some real rock near Tunbridge Wells – I’m meeting up with a fellow climber who I have chatted to (briefly) but never met….I’m adventurous I suppose you could say….Life is about experiences. Some of you may remember that I wrote about Fear some time ago – well both climbing and meeting new people are conquering fears for me – and I can honestly say that once you start taking control of things that make you feel a little scared you do become more brave (or should that be silly? Foolish? Foolhardy?). Someone recently used the word Gumption to describe me…I have Gumption – I’m sure that used to be a bathroom cleaner in the 80s….
Oh, and for those of you that may be concerned about my safety tomorrow, what with meeting someone I’ve never met before – I always make sure I tell someone where I’ll be, always take a mobile phone with me, always meet somewhere public – and although this is at a rural location as there aren’t many rock faces in cities, it does get very busy during the weekends. What more can one do? Yes I could take someone else along with me, but that’s my point – I don’t have a climbing partner at the moment – that’s why I’m going to meet someone to climb with….And I do think that sometimes we overstate dangers around us…it’s far more likely that I’d be injured in a road accident than either injured while climbing or by a stranger. But that said, clearly it’s on my mind as I’ve brought it up here in this post….but again I think that’s because so many of my female friends worry about this. Although my dear friend Roo – who left a comment on an earlier post – the one about walking and thinking – she has never, ever worried about talking to all sorts of people – quite often the weirder and odder the better! Roo has always trusted in the kindness of strangers and is quite possibly the most friendly person I know – I can’t think of anyone who ever has a bad thing to say about her or anyone who doesn’t love her to pieces – mind you now I’ve said all that I’m beginning to go off her a bit…Anyway, back on subject, Roo talks to everyone, is calm, relaxed and friendly to everyone and I’m sure this helps…and it’s not that she hasn’t been in tough situations, she is a nurse and trained in London in a large and very famous hospital in the Mile End Road in the East End….so she’s seen plenty of “colourful” life….
Maybe we’re all so tied up with the idea of being Safe and how everything is a threat – Health and Safety overloads – that we can’t imagine that most people are just the same as us…reasonably harmless…