The May Ball

Last night saw Jo and myself going off to the rugby club May Ball both dressed in slinky dresses, far too much makeup and industrial strength hair products. We had a great time, not least of all because wine was involved and after a lovely meal we went outside to the Entertainments….

After very little encouragement from one of the rugby coaches I had a go on the Bucking Bronco machine….bit hard to get up on the back of one of those things after a few glasses of wine, so the coach, in best coaching supportiveness grabbed hold of my rear end and pushed me up onto the mechanical beast….Rugby is after all a contact sport so I was in expert hands….Next we tackled the dodgems – great fun apart from the whiplash injuries sustained. Back onto the Bucking Bronco – unfortunately the wine had got the better of me by this time and I found it impossible to hold on either with my knees or my hands for longer than approximately 20 seconds – possibly less. After that the only thing that remained was to have a go at the reverse Bungee – basically you are attached to a rope, you run as far as you can and the elastic rope pulls you back rather rapidly. Again I proved to be useless at this – I believe a good deal of body weight is required along with strength and as I was running against a 17 stone 6’4” rugby player I really didn’t stand a chance…but at least he managed to keep his trousers in one piece this year – a couple of years back he ripped his trousers from front to back along the crotch – it was a hired suit (DJ or tux to those of you in the US) and his wife had to stitch it up before they could return it…This year fortunately he owns his own and his wonderful lady had already reinforced the seams!

Despite consuming a fair amount of wine I still remained sober enough to watch people which I love to do…. I am fascinated to observe how couples relate to one another in public…I would hazard a guess that because I have a recently failed major relationship behind me I have a greater interest than most…. I look to see if there are clues to success or else visible cracks in what other people have…. Watching friends and acquaintances I constantly wonder what makes some couples get together and stay together. Very often physical attractiveness doesn’t seem to feature – or at least, it doesn’t any longer, maybe it once did in the initial stages of attraction, but not now. And that seems a little odd at times – particularly if one partner appears to still be making a huge effort with their appearance and yet their other half just doesn’t bother. Or else they spend most of the evening with other people, not talking or even acknowledging each other…I wonder to myself if this is what a relationship looks like in its death-throes, or if this is just how this particular couple operate socially and behind closed doors the other is the most important person in the world. Because I think that’s what all of us want ultimately – to be the most important person in the world to someone. Some men and women would say that their children are the most important people in their lives but I disagree. I adore my two sons but I know that in ten or fifteen years time they will have their own very independent lives – in fact that will probably happen in less than ten years and I’ll be happy about that – that is what I want for my children – independence. My children won’t be there for me each night when I get home from work ready to listen to the petty details of my day, give me a hug and a glass of wine. They’ll maybe listen a bit and then want (I hope) to tell me of their latest achievements, high points, worries, and perhaps ask me for money or a lift somewhere! Children are only with us for a few short years and then they’re adults, off to conquer the world on their own. I believe that all of us want to have someone beside us so we conquer the world together, as equals. That’s not your child.

Funny, I seem to have wandered off topic again – I started wanting to talk about couple dynamics and have ended up talking about children, but I suppose it’s all connected…..