The May Ball

Last night saw Jo and myself going off to the rugby club May Ball both dressed in slinky dresses, far too much makeup and industrial strength hair products. We had a great time, not least of all because wine was involved and after a lovely meal we went outside to the Entertainments….

After very little encouragement from one of the rugby coaches I had a go on the Bucking Bronco machine….bit hard to get up on the back of one of those things after a few glasses of wine, so the coach, in best coaching supportiveness grabbed hold of my rear end and pushed me up onto the mechanical beast….Rugby is after all a contact sport so I was in expert hands….Next we tackled the dodgems – great fun apart from the whiplash injuries sustained. Back onto the Bucking Bronco – unfortunately the wine had got the better of me by this time and I found it impossible to hold on either with my knees or my hands for longer than approximately 20 seconds – possibly less. After that the only thing that remained was to have a go at the reverse Bungee – basically you are attached to a rope, you run as far as you can and the elastic rope pulls you back rather rapidly. Again I proved to be useless at this – I believe a good deal of body weight is required along with strength and as I was running against a 17 stone 6’4” rugby player I really didn’t stand a chance…but at least he managed to keep his trousers in one piece this year – a couple of years back he ripped his trousers from front to back along the crotch – it was a hired suit (DJ or tux to those of you in the US) and his wife had to stitch it up before they could return it…This year fortunately he owns his own and his wonderful lady had already reinforced the seams!

Despite consuming a fair amount of wine I still remained sober enough to watch people which I love to do…. I am fascinated to observe how couples relate to one another in public…I would hazard a guess that because I have a recently failed major relationship behind me I have a greater interest than most…. I look to see if there are clues to success or else visible cracks in what other people have…. Watching friends and acquaintances I constantly wonder what makes some couples get together and stay together. Very often physical attractiveness doesn’t seem to feature – or at least, it doesn’t any longer, maybe it once did in the initial stages of attraction, but not now. And that seems a little odd at times – particularly if one partner appears to still be making a huge effort with their appearance and yet their other half just doesn’t bother. Or else they spend most of the evening with other people, not talking or even acknowledging each other…I wonder to myself if this is what a relationship looks like in its death-throes, or if this is just how this particular couple operate socially and behind closed doors the other is the most important person in the world. Because I think that’s what all of us want ultimately – to be the most important person in the world to someone. Some men and women would say that their children are the most important people in their lives but I disagree. I adore my two sons but I know that in ten or fifteen years time they will have their own very independent lives – in fact that will probably happen in less than ten years and I’ll be happy about that – that is what I want for my children – independence. My children won’t be there for me each night when I get home from work ready to listen to the petty details of my day, give me a hug and a glass of wine. They’ll maybe listen a bit and then want (I hope) to tell me of their latest achievements, high points, worries, and perhaps ask me for money or a lift somewhere! Children are only with us for a few short years and then they’re adults, off to conquer the world on their own. I believe that all of us want to have someone beside us so we conquer the world together, as equals. That’s not your child.

Funny, I seem to have wandered off topic again – I started wanting to talk about couple dynamics and have ended up talking about children, but I suppose it’s all connected…..

Having too many glasses of wine and being badly behaved.

The girls’ night in went very well indeed. I’m afraid I can’t report back on what was said as I don’t remember, apart from a very off colour remark from Jules concerning male bodily fluids trickling down legs…three days later apparently… to which I replied, “anally retentive?” Roo nearly choked on her wine and Jules missed what I said and is still continuing to ask me why Roo was choking and I was sniggering…..

The pub crawl the following night ended up being one pub – a live band was playing, The Angry Pirates , and very good they were too. The pub was also packed out with a gang of men in suits – all Down From London to play golf – they looked like Essex Wideboys and it turned out that some of them were….I ended up being very rude to one of them – he sold Double Glazing and was rather taken with me – I told him (bearing in mind I’d had 6 or 7 glasses of wine and knew no fear by that point) that he was lucky I even looked at him, let alone spoke to him….I’m not usually like that (ever) but he was incredibly cocky and asked for it…He then gave me his room number – I laughed and told him he didn’t stand a hope in hell’s chance. Jo decided at that point to take me home, so while she waited outside for a taxi to turn up I decided to chat to a rather nice looking young chap who had a lovely Celtic design tattoo on his arm. The tattoo went up his arm, over his shoulder and onto his collar bone, he also had a perfect six-pack stomach and surprisingly the pub has a ‘no shirts off’ rule too….I’m not going into too much detail about the night mainly because I don’t remember most of the conversations I had……I know I had a lovely long chat with a really funny guy who went by the nickname of Shrek - yes, he did look a bit like him.

Very entertaining and a thoroughly nice person too, he's promised to look after Jo when she moves into town. I do also remember talking to a nice girl called Zoe who had a fab handbag and wore Max Mara perfume – I know it was that type because I asked her. I also told her if she was a man I’d fancy her because she smelled so nice and had such good taste in bags….She reminded me that if she was a man she wouldn’t have the bag and wouldn’t be wearing ladies perfume….good point….

I do remember getting back to Jo’s house and spending a good 30 minutes, at least, being ill….and blaming Jo for all of it, something along the lines of, “I told you not to let me have more than four glasses. I want to die. I feel so ill. Why did you let me drink so much wine?” et cetera, et cetera, ad nauseum (and it was too). When I went to bed I passed out and then the following morning still felt drunk.

Early night last night – especially as the clocks went forward and we all lost an hour in bed. Tonight I’m off to see my friend Kate’s band play and this time I’ll be driving, so no alcohol for me – and my liver is no doubt very pleased about that.

Girls nights...

A while back I was considering the nature of friendship – both those in real life and those online. Human relationships do fascinate, confound and infuriate me all in equal measures. Tonight I’m off to have supper with my two oldest friends – the three of us were at school together and have known each other since we were all eleven – a considerable length of time, in fact apart from my family, no one has known me as long as this.

We have a huge amount of shared history with each other, obviously the school stuff, but also because over the years we have kept in touch – sometimes closely so we know what has happened in our lives. Yes it is all a bit like a Chicklit book… But there is definitely something to be said for having friends to whom you need not explain certain facts – they already know. The whole back story is there and we can remind each other of the daft things we did years ago – if only to attempt to ensure we don’t repeat our mistakes….

It’s also interesting that because of this long history with each other I wonder if we still see ourselves as schoolgirls? Is that the person they see in me? Or do they take on board how I’ve changed over the years? I’m always reminded by Jules that I had an intense hatred of the outdoors at school (based upon a couple of Duke of Edinburgh camping expeditions), yet Roo remembers the many holidays we shared throughout our teens where we spent most of the time outside and often hiking up hills and mountains or even one memorable jaunt on a boat. I’m sure we do all see and accept how we’ve changed over the years but equally it’s reassuring to be reminded of who we once were.

And these female friendships, unlike those with men are entirely secure - we don’t have the added tensions of sex and flirting. Although, that said we do talk about sex, sometimes in detail (don’t worry chaps – it is always very complementary). That’s what women do when they get together – drink large amounts of wine, discuss shoes, sex, who has got too fat/skinny, who is having an affair (they’re thin on the ground these days – people are either really happy or else scared and behaving themselves), and any of the latest gossip or even old gossip which we missed out on years ago….

Watch this space, I may report back on exactly what was said…..all names changed to protect the innocent of course….which is why I’ve used Jules and Roo’s real names….no innocence there….

Oh, and I’m off on a pub crawl on Friday night, just myself and Jo this time – busy social life at the moment – as ever the social life is like the bus service or policemen – never around when you want them and then three come along at once….Sunday night out too possibly – a friend plays in a band and we’ve been invited to the gig – we could be groupies! Only drawback is that the band member we know is called Kate…..ah well….