Speed Dating, Again.

Last night I went out with Jo to another Speed Dating event – I was Moral Support (or Chaperone…) again. This time she had booked into the 40-50 year old age group (she’s only just into her 40s although you wouldn’t know it). Anyway, we got into the bar, as before I was sent to sit in the corner, this time with four other Chaperones. Glancing around the room I felt a little uncomfortable – everyone in there had at least a decade, or far more on me…I think I was young enough to be the daughter of at least half of the Daters…..But, well, everyone is entitled to have a go…Although I did think Jo’s chances of picking up anyone here who still had their own teeth and hair was fairly remote….
The first guy she had to chat to looked like a cartoon character – one from the Simpsons, no, not Homer…He was short, round, wore glasses and all in all looked like someone you would go out of your way to avoid. Sad really because he might have been the nicest chap there last night…but somehow I don’t think so because while first impressions do count, if anyone has a dazzling personality then that comes across – looks aren’t everything and none of us looks model perfect – not even models before Photoshop has done its work…Jo didn’t tick him.
When the event was over I stood up and waited by the door while Jo went to retrieve her coat. I was pounced upon by a tall grey haired gentleman who asked why I wasn’t taking part (I’m guessing this is a standard chat up line as The Flatterer used one similar at the last event) and was I available? I told him that yes, while I was currently available I wasn’t taking part because this was the wrong age group for me, I’d be in one of the younger groups if I decided to do it…..I said this before I’d considered how his feelings might be hurt….He looked crestfallen and then very quickly asked if he and his friend could join us while we went to the bar next door….Fast movers.
We went next door and I happened to turn around when I reached the bar only to see that around half a dozen of the men had followed us in here but none of the women….And the two chaps we were with both managed to look like dogs with two tails – they were buying drinks for the Single Women!
The four of us sat down together and had a very pleasant time chatting about the usual stuff you chat about at the pub – jobs, kids, holidays, hobbies….And I think we maybe frightened them a little as both Jo and I explained that we have paying jobs, creative jobs (the ones that don’t pay), kids, Jo runs and swims, I climb and hike…And we even managed to fit in an evening out….Them? They went to work, watched Top Gear and …um…about it really….

So yes, Jo and I are fantastic.

Jo had ticked one of the chaps we had a drink with and she hopes he’s ticked her because she’d like to meet up with him again – as a friend…..But I think it's because she enjoyed having a man hanging on her every word and quite clearly in awe of her...I enjoyed that too! Hmmm, maybe I should start hanging around with older men!

Roadkill

Living in the countryside we are surrounded by not only our own animals but also the wild ones too…

Just before Christmas I was going off to meet some friends in a local pub, I left the house at around 7pm - it was very dark. I drove down the single track road that runs through our village. The road goes between our fields and our neighbour’s orchards, and on the other side of most of the fields and orchards around here are ancient woodlands. Our village many hundreds of years ago was the hunting ground for the local lord of the manor who lived in the castle…And no, this is not turning into a fairy story, even though I can write a good one….

Anyway, the point being that we have lots of local wild deer, most of the time they are lovely to see; frosty February mornings they can be seen wandering out of the woods and into the stubble; last summer we took out goats out into a field near the woods and saw some deer – both herds of animals were transfixed.

So, back to the drive out to the pub…I wasn’t going that fast but almost drove into a hedge as I had to avoid the huge stag which wanted to walk out in front of me….Scary moment number 1…..

Got to the pub, had only one small glass of wine…actually another story entirely about a woman I know only slightly who was there and must have had the best part of two bottles of red wine and the drove home….horrifying.

But back to the wild animals…after finishing at the pub I said goodbye, as you do, and drove home.

As you’ve probably guessed we don’t have streetlights around us, or cats eyes in the road, or pavements – yes, I do live in the sticks and no, I’m not related to Mr Chickenlady in any way, but he does have large ears…I don’t.

So going back up the road where I met the stag out pops what I thought at first was a small black Labrador…no, actually it was a bloody big badger…I avoided it, but the car behind me didn’t…..Scary moment number 2

The following day (Saturday) the badger’s body had found its way onto the grass verge and into our neighbour’s field. The next day our neighbour and his elderly wife decided to bury the animal where it lay.

By Tuesday the body was laying above ground…foxes perhaps….

Wednesday neighbour and wife digging a hole again….deeper this time

Thursday very bloated badger body above ground again…….

Friday…digging

Saturday….bloody foxes

Sunday….someone hired a small digger….

Oh the joys of living in the countryside…it didn’t quite reach the local paper but it was the main topic of conversation in the pub…almost as much as when one of the foreign students spray painted very rude remarks about a local farmer on the main road in six foot high letters….very good command of English he had too….