It's amazing how resilient the human spirit is...how quickly we get over things...how quickly we get over people, move on and alter our lives. Ten years ago my grandmother died as did a good friend who was only in his twenties. I wouldn't say that now it's as if they never existed, but I suppose the hole left by people simply closes up or gets filled with other stuff. The only real constant in our lives is us. Sometimes it can feel - certainly to me - that my life is like a bus journey and friends and relatives are with me for part of the journey but they either get on after me or before me...and some stay longer than others. Of course there are the figures in your life that you believe will be there for the whole journey but they're not...they leave before you'd like them to or maybe you get off their bus first.
Strange analogy I know, but it seems to make sense to me especially while my life is in such flux.
One never knows quite what is going to be around the corner, or who for that matter. And it's the who that now many of my friends are concerned about....I'm preparing myself for a flurry of invitations in the coming months...many of my married friends have taken it upon themselves to find what they believe I need - a single fit man in his thirties. It's great to know that my friends care about my well-being and so on, but more than a little disconcerting to know they're considering fixing me up....Perhaps my single status is disapproved of or maybe even feared - is it catching maybe?
Showing posts with label single women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label single women. Show all posts
Sunday, 9 September 2007
Wednesday, 2 May 2007
Speed Dating? Not again!
As a writer I feel it’s my duty to have lots of adventures so that my writing can reflect the breadth of experience…or maybe I just like to get out and have fun….
Anyway, last night in the pursuit of fun and adventure I was persuaded by Jo to have a crack at Speed Dating – having now been an innocent bystander twice, she thought it was time to get my hands dirty, so to speak. The whole experience was made all the better by having not just one female friend there, Jo, but coincidentally, three others – one I’d met at the last Speed Dating event, she too had been a chaperone, and also two other fellow Rugby club members.
So there I was looking reasonably glamorous and above all, eager, sitting at a table in the window of a bar waiting for my first victim, erm, no, date. Jo was at the table next to me looking stunning as usual – imagine a near six foot, size 10 (UK) version of the actress Sarah Lancashire with a platinum blonde bob and that’s Jo – so she’s pretty eye catching. Jo jokingly says to me, wouldn’t it be funny if your ex was to walk past on his way to the cash point. Ha ha I say. And then Jo went white…..he DID walk past! Twice! Jo and I dissolved into embarrassed giggles – I was mortified and wanted to climb under the table – particularly as the organiser was giving her pep talk at the time, she saw us in uncontrollable giggles and asked what was wrong, “Her ex husband has just walked past!” shouts out Jo cheerfully. Thanks.
Well it did effectively break the ice and I don’t think that Jo and I were as nervous after that, well, not nervous of our ‘dates’, I was slightly nervous that my ex would come in and ask me if I had taken leave of my senses, or worse, stand outside point at my 3 minute victim and laugh….
So, the Dates. 17 men all supposedly within the ages of 35-45, were they? Maybe one or two was actually in his 30s, the rest were at least 45 but more likely nearer to 55 or even 65. If I was to attempt Speed Dating again I would either go to the 30-40 bracket or more likely 25-35 at least that way I would perhaps meet someone only a year or two older than me and not from an entirely different generation!
Most of the men seemed to be reasonably nice people, some were more charming than others, some more interesting than others. One was more mad than any other man I’ve met before….he had arrived with a mobile phone clamped to his ear and an ordnance survey map flapping out of the waistband of his trousers. He also possessed what I think is the last pair of NHS glasses in existence which is shocking considering we were only a couple of hundreds of yards from SpecSavers. He sat down and mumbled on about the recent earthquake that we experienced down here in Kent. Much of what he said I couldn’t hear but I did make out his general annoyance with local government who apparently contact him every time there is a natural disaster – the earthquake, a hurricane (this happened last month according to him, I missed it myself) – they contact him, ask for his ‘expert’ knowledge (on what I have no idea) and then they don’t even offer him payment or a permanent job. I made all the right noises and nodded encouragingly. He was clearly impressed by this and asked me if I listened to Radio Caroline….I didn’t have the heart to tell him it’s been gone for a long time, so I said I remembered it (that was a lie, I have heard of it, know some of the stories about it being the forerunner to Radio 1 and so on, but it was before my time I think). He then went on to tell me about a Dutch radio station that operates next door to Caroline (erm…wasn’t Radio Caroline on a boat?) he gave me the frequency to tune into and then asked me what my favourite song was….My mind went blank except for two things – James Blunt’s You’re Beautiful – no good, no good at all, it would give him all the wrong ideas! Or alternatively someone has been attempting to convert me to Leonard Cohen – now that would send out all the right messages, so Leonard it was. So if I tune in today I could hear a Leonard Cohen song which he would have broadcast just for me. Afterwards I discovered this man had told at least one woman that he finds it very hard to meet women for sex. That’s a great chat up line.
Aside from him I also managed to put my foot in it with a chap who works as a Safety Officer for a Nuclear power station – “You’re Homer Simpson!” I blurted out without giving it a second thought….
I also had a rather pained conversation with an older man who told me he drove a lorry. I attempted to draw him out and ask which firm – no reply. So I asked what he carried in his lorry – he told me the firm was based in London and did contract work for the local government. Oh, says I, that sounds interesting, and then I repeat my question, What do you have in your lorry? Finally I get a reply – Household Waste Management……Yes dear reader, he was a Bin Man. Now don’t get me wrong – there is nothing at all wrong with being a Bin Man – it’s an essential job that all of us rely on each week, or every other week in some areas around here…And not a job he should be ashamed of having, but he clearly was and didn’t have a sense of humour about it, and as we all know, humour cures all.
The end of the evening saw me with a score card filled with crosses all in the Miss column – maybe some of the men were very nice, but I’d rather stay single than settle. In fact I’d go so far as to say that I’d seriously consider taking up lesbianism as a lifestyle choice if the men last night were truly representative of the single men out there.
Anyway, last night in the pursuit of fun and adventure I was persuaded by Jo to have a crack at Speed Dating – having now been an innocent bystander twice, she thought it was time to get my hands dirty, so to speak. The whole experience was made all the better by having not just one female friend there, Jo, but coincidentally, three others – one I’d met at the last Speed Dating event, she too had been a chaperone, and also two other fellow Rugby club members.
So there I was looking reasonably glamorous and above all, eager, sitting at a table in the window of a bar waiting for my first victim, erm, no, date. Jo was at the table next to me looking stunning as usual – imagine a near six foot, size 10 (UK) version of the actress Sarah Lancashire with a platinum blonde bob and that’s Jo – so she’s pretty eye catching. Jo jokingly says to me, wouldn’t it be funny if your ex was to walk past on his way to the cash point. Ha ha I say. And then Jo went white…..he DID walk past! Twice! Jo and I dissolved into embarrassed giggles – I was mortified and wanted to climb under the table – particularly as the organiser was giving her pep talk at the time, she saw us in uncontrollable giggles and asked what was wrong, “Her ex husband has just walked past!” shouts out Jo cheerfully. Thanks.
Well it did effectively break the ice and I don’t think that Jo and I were as nervous after that, well, not nervous of our ‘dates’, I was slightly nervous that my ex would come in and ask me if I had taken leave of my senses, or worse, stand outside point at my 3 minute victim and laugh….
So, the Dates. 17 men all supposedly within the ages of 35-45, were they? Maybe one or two was actually in his 30s, the rest were at least 45 but more likely nearer to 55 or even 65. If I was to attempt Speed Dating again I would either go to the 30-40 bracket or more likely 25-35 at least that way I would perhaps meet someone only a year or two older than me and not from an entirely different generation!
Most of the men seemed to be reasonably nice people, some were more charming than others, some more interesting than others. One was more mad than any other man I’ve met before….he had arrived with a mobile phone clamped to his ear and an ordnance survey map flapping out of the waistband of his trousers. He also possessed what I think is the last pair of NHS glasses in existence which is shocking considering we were only a couple of hundreds of yards from SpecSavers. He sat down and mumbled on about the recent earthquake that we experienced down here in Kent. Much of what he said I couldn’t hear but I did make out his general annoyance with local government who apparently contact him every time there is a natural disaster – the earthquake, a hurricane (this happened last month according to him, I missed it myself) – they contact him, ask for his ‘expert’ knowledge (on what I have no idea) and then they don’t even offer him payment or a permanent job. I made all the right noises and nodded encouragingly. He was clearly impressed by this and asked me if I listened to Radio Caroline….I didn’t have the heart to tell him it’s been gone for a long time, so I said I remembered it (that was a lie, I have heard of it, know some of the stories about it being the forerunner to Radio 1 and so on, but it was before my time I think). He then went on to tell me about a Dutch radio station that operates next door to Caroline (erm…wasn’t Radio Caroline on a boat?) he gave me the frequency to tune into and then asked me what my favourite song was….My mind went blank except for two things – James Blunt’s You’re Beautiful – no good, no good at all, it would give him all the wrong ideas! Or alternatively someone has been attempting to convert me to Leonard Cohen – now that would send out all the right messages, so Leonard it was. So if I tune in today I could hear a Leonard Cohen song which he would have broadcast just for me. Afterwards I discovered this man had told at least one woman that he finds it very hard to meet women for sex. That’s a great chat up line.
Aside from him I also managed to put my foot in it with a chap who works as a Safety Officer for a Nuclear power station – “You’re Homer Simpson!” I blurted out without giving it a second thought….
I also had a rather pained conversation with an older man who told me he drove a lorry. I attempted to draw him out and ask which firm – no reply. So I asked what he carried in his lorry – he told me the firm was based in London and did contract work for the local government. Oh, says I, that sounds interesting, and then I repeat my question, What do you have in your lorry? Finally I get a reply – Household Waste Management……Yes dear reader, he was a Bin Man. Now don’t get me wrong – there is nothing at all wrong with being a Bin Man – it’s an essential job that all of us rely on each week, or every other week in some areas around here…And not a job he should be ashamed of having, but he clearly was and didn’t have a sense of humour about it, and as we all know, humour cures all.
The end of the evening saw me with a score card filled with crosses all in the Miss column – maybe some of the men were very nice, but I’d rather stay single than settle. In fact I’d go so far as to say that I’d seriously consider taking up lesbianism as a lifestyle choice if the men last night were truly representative of the single men out there.
Wednesday, 18 April 2007
Speed Dating, Again.
Last night I went out with Jo to another Speed Dating event – I was Moral Support (or Chaperone…) again. This time she had booked into the 40-50 year old age group (she’s only just into her 40s although you wouldn’t know it). Anyway, we got into the bar, as before I was sent to sit in the corner, this time with four other Chaperones. Glancing around the room I felt a little uncomfortable – everyone in there had at least a decade, or far more on me…I think I was young enough to be the daughter of at least half of the Daters…..But, well, everyone is entitled to have a go…Although I did think Jo’s chances of picking up anyone here who still had their own teeth and hair was fairly remote….
The first guy she had to chat to looked like a cartoon character – one from the Simpsons, no, not Homer…He was short, round, wore glasses and all in all looked like someone you would go out of your way to avoid. Sad really because he might have been the nicest chap there last night…but somehow I don’t think so because while first impressions do count, if anyone has a dazzling personality then that comes across – looks aren’t everything and none of us looks model perfect – not even models before Photoshop has done its work…Jo didn’t tick him.
When the event was over I stood up and waited by the door while Jo went to retrieve her coat. I was pounced upon by a tall grey haired gentleman who asked why I wasn’t taking part (I’m guessing this is a standard chat up line as The Flatterer used one similar at the last event) and was I available? I told him that yes, while I was currently available I wasn’t taking part because this was the wrong age group for me, I’d be in one of the younger groups if I decided to do it…..I said this before I’d considered how his feelings might be hurt….He looked crestfallen and then very quickly asked if he and his friend could join us while we went to the bar next door….Fast movers.
We went next door and I happened to turn around when I reached the bar only to see that around half a dozen of the men had followed us in here but none of the women….And the two chaps we were with both managed to look like dogs with two tails – they were buying drinks for the Single Women!
The four of us sat down together and had a very pleasant time chatting about the usual stuff you chat about at the pub – jobs, kids, holidays, hobbies….And I think we maybe frightened them a little as both Jo and I explained that we have paying jobs, creative jobs (the ones that don’t pay), kids, Jo runs and swims, I climb and hike…And we even managed to fit in an evening out….Them? They went to work, watched Top Gear and …um…about it really….
So yes, Jo and I are fantastic.
Jo had ticked one of the chaps we had a drink with and she hopes he’s ticked her because she’d like to meet up with him again – as a friend…..But I think it's because she enjoyed having a man hanging on her every word and quite clearly in awe of her...I enjoyed that too! Hmmm, maybe I should start hanging around with older men!
The first guy she had to chat to looked like a cartoon character – one from the Simpsons, no, not Homer…He was short, round, wore glasses and all in all looked like someone you would go out of your way to avoid. Sad really because he might have been the nicest chap there last night…but somehow I don’t think so because while first impressions do count, if anyone has a dazzling personality then that comes across – looks aren’t everything and none of us looks model perfect – not even models before Photoshop has done its work…Jo didn’t tick him.
When the event was over I stood up and waited by the door while Jo went to retrieve her coat. I was pounced upon by a tall grey haired gentleman who asked why I wasn’t taking part (I’m guessing this is a standard chat up line as The Flatterer used one similar at the last event) and was I available? I told him that yes, while I was currently available I wasn’t taking part because this was the wrong age group for me, I’d be in one of the younger groups if I decided to do it…..I said this before I’d considered how his feelings might be hurt….He looked crestfallen and then very quickly asked if he and his friend could join us while we went to the bar next door….Fast movers.
We went next door and I happened to turn around when I reached the bar only to see that around half a dozen of the men had followed us in here but none of the women….And the two chaps we were with both managed to look like dogs with two tails – they were buying drinks for the Single Women!
The four of us sat down together and had a very pleasant time chatting about the usual stuff you chat about at the pub – jobs, kids, holidays, hobbies….And I think we maybe frightened them a little as both Jo and I explained that we have paying jobs, creative jobs (the ones that don’t pay), kids, Jo runs and swims, I climb and hike…And we even managed to fit in an evening out….Them? They went to work, watched Top Gear and …um…about it really….
So yes, Jo and I are fantastic.
Jo had ticked one of the chaps we had a drink with and she hopes he’s ticked her because she’d like to meet up with him again – as a friend…..But I think it's because she enjoyed having a man hanging on her every word and quite clearly in awe of her...I enjoyed that too! Hmmm, maybe I should start hanging around with older men!
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