New Year's Eve

Was expecting a fun filled evening with friends at the local pub…one of them is celebrating his 30^th and said he’d pop in…sounded like fun.

So Mr C and myself get up there and discover that none of our friends have decided to turn out…..Ok..I know the weather was crap, blah, blah, blah, but the buggers said they’d be there…grrr. I’m now expecting an evening of poking fun at the range of oddballs around us, like the guy across the bar who looks a little like Herr Flick, just more creepy and he keeps giving me the eye. Feels like it’s going to be a long evening, at least we can ogle the landlady who is gorgeous and has an arse I’d kill for – and I’m straight…

Luckily at about 9pm in walks Sam, the birthday boy, with a mate of his, they join us and soon we’re all just slightly drunk. The evening pretty much deteriorated from here on… Sam got more and more drunk and his hands got more and more wandering….he has a great line in feeling arses….mine, the landlady’s, Mr C’s….everyone’s…..oh, and encouraging the rest of the pub to also have a feel…thanks….He gets more friendly and whilst Mr C isn’t looking he grabs both my backside and my (pierced) right breast…somehow he managed to drag the fact that my nipple is pierced out of me. I quickly move his hand and he whispers in my ear various suggestions of what he’d like to do to me….nice but he’s very drunk, I’m not so drunk, and my husband is sitting next to me – albeit equally drunk…..

Then at around 11.30 a woman we all know comes over; she’s already sent some champagne over to Sam for his birthday – I drank it…it’s also her birthday, her 50^th…..so she’s come to give Sam a birthday kiss…..no peck…..full mouth open, arms flung round Sam, and a deep with tongues kiss………….Sam looks shocked but, hey, it’s a woman kissing him…then he realises she’s a smoker and his face is no longer pleasantly shocked…it’s slightly green….

Midnight arrives, we all pile outside to see the fireworks, Mr C wanders off somewhere and Sam attempts another grope, this time telling various strangers how he’s enjoying it…..This is now beginning to wear thin….as much as I enjoy the attention…..So I start to think about revenge…….

Fortunately the vodka and cokes that Sam had been downing provided me with their own revenge and I didn’t have to be too bad to him…..At around 12.15 he disappeared into the garden where the drinks made a reappearance – probably brought on by the ashtray kiss…..So I see my opportunity…..I slip out to the garden, find him looking grey and holding his head in his hands….. “Oh Sam, what a shame you’ve been sick…a real shame….You see, I was going to give you a birthday kiss….but now you’ve been sick….oh dear, well, I suppose all I can do now is this….” At which point I gave him a quick flash of the piercing in the full knowledge that he will not remember any of this tomorrow…..And at some point I shall tell him all this….REVENGE!!!